Author: Brandy Metz, MSN, APRN, AGNP-C

Motherhood

“I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Motherhood is a sacred assignment. You bring life into the world. You are gifted a tiny defenseless infant who is dependent upon you for their every need. It is the most beautiful and terrifying assignment you could be tasked with. You are trusted with the life and wellbeing of a pure, innocent, and beautiful little soul. It is your job to nurture them and keep them alive. They cannot fend for themselves in any way. You have to feed them, clean them, clothe them, shelter them, protect them and keep them safe. You have to train them and teach them and give them every possible opportunity to grow into their potential. You have to put your self, your needs, and your wants secondary to those of your child. You sacrifice your body, your life, your time. Your child becomes the center of your world, from which everything else revolves around. Their wellbeing is the only thing that matters. Everything else is secondary. Motherhood is a divine assignment of servitude and sacrifice for a cause much greater than yourself. 

“Being a Mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and fears you didn’t know existed.” ~ Linda Wooten

As with all acts of servitude, your sacrifice is rewarded. The definition of a reward is a gift given in recognition of one’s service, efforts, and achievements. You endure pain, vulnerability, solitude, exclusion, financial strain, delayed social and career engagements, and limited self serving pursuits. Your top priority is your child. In exchange for your sacrifice, you reap the heavenly qualities of maturity, growth, strength, wisdom, and power. There is no force greater than a Mother’s love. Your heart and soul are expanded beyond measure. You are gifted the opportunity of love, joy, and pride that transcends any other earthly relationship. The reward of Motherhood is the sacred place you hold in your child’s life. There is no more important role. You have a front row seat, and VIP access to the most precious experience life has to offer. It is an honor, a privilege, a gift, and a divine assignment. You are gifted the opportunity to experience eternal love, eternal devotion, and eternal connection.  

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself, and once for her child.” ~ Sophia Lauren

You bring life into this world, and have the greatest impact on your child’s life. You are their protector and guardian and teacher. This assignment requires diligence. You will be required to grow, and think, and fight for something far greater than yourself. Your choices determine your child’s environment and resources. Your discernment determines the people allowed in your child’s life. Your presence determines their safety. Your availability shapes their sense of security to be themselves and connect with others. Your attention shapes their self esteem and self worth. Your involvement shapes their perspectives, character, and values. Your example shapes their habits and learned behaviors. Your investment in them determines their opportunities for growth. Your every move determines their every outcome. Motherhood is not an assignment for the weak. It is carrying the weight of the world. 

“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in it’s perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of the rainbow.” ~ Maya Angelou

If you want to make the world a better place, you start with mothers. Mother’s create the next generation. They have the greatest influence on their children. We as a society should place more emphasis on providing relief and resources to assist disadvantaged mothers to be able to provide opportunities to better care for their children. It takes a village to raise a child. Society crumbles when mothers have to work 3 jobs to provide the basic necessities of life. This creates exhaustion, absence, and the opportunity for corruption. A mothers ability to provide for their children, support their children, and parent their children determines the future of humanity. 

“Behind all of your stories, is your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.” ~ Mitch Albom

Mother’s have the greatest impact in the world. They are the root of all the future fruit. It is a mother’s duty to establish a trusting secure connection. To teach their children life skills and self sufficiency. To instill morals and values and help them determine right from wrong. To help guide their choices and decision making. To discipline misconduct to cultivate the principles of respect and compassion. To demonstrate purpose, responsibility, character, and goodness. To provide opportunities for healthy self development and interpersonal development. To provide opportunities for them to thrive to their fullest potential. The ultimate goal of parenting is to raise functional adults that can positively contribute to society. If a good mother is able to devote her presence, time, and attention to raising her children well, this would create generations of well adjusted secure adults. This would have the greatest impact on the future of the world. Mothers are often under supported and under appreciated, but their impact should not be underestimated. They are the most powerful and influential members of society. 

“A mother’s love is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” ~ Agatha Christie

I am so grateful to have been given the divine assignment of motherhood. It was a true gift and unexpected. I was 19 years old, and River’s father and I were completely ill equipped. It was the most terrifying thing in the world. To be trusted with a tiny, perfect, fragile little being. I fervently understood the immense pressure of my assignment. I held the most precious thing in the world, and he was my responsibility. River is a real life Angel who changed the course of my life for the better. I matured as rapidly as I could to become the Mother he needed. I am grateful for the support I was given. I am grateful for the sacrifices I was able to make to provide him the best upbringing I could. We lived below the poverty line while I fought my way through nursing school. I slept on a mattress on the living room floor of our 1 bedroom apartment for many years, so he could go to the best school. I cooked our meals on a wok because I couldn’t afford a gas bill. But I ensured he was in constant sports and activities, and we did them together. We grew up together, and we had so much fun together. And though I wish I could have been better for him and provided better for him, he made me a far better person than I ever would have been without him. I am grateful I made enough right choices, and received sufficient divine grace that everything turned out beautifully. It has been the delight of my life, and a gift to my soul, to witness him grow into the man he has become. He is wise, kind, compassionate, patient, dependable, hard-working, a visionary, an independent thinker, and a creator. He is a good man and a good human being. He makes the world a better place. He is a soul greater than mine, and it is an esteemed privilege to be of service to him, and the honor of my life to be his mother. 

“And she loved a little boy, very, very much, even more than she loved herself.” ~ Shel Silverstein

Motherhood is a lifelong assignment. Oprah has theorized that mothers change roles throughout a child’s life. Initially you’re a ‘Parent’, making all of the decisions. Then the relationship evolves as the child is able to make their own decisions and you become the ‘Manager’, fostering, enacting, or vetoing the decisions they make. And eventually, when the child becomes an adult, the parent takes on the final role of ‘Consultant’. You have no say in the decisions your adult child makes, but can provide your advice and guidance on request. It’s a beautiful evolution of dynamics. You would hope to have been good enough at your parenting role and managing role, that you can hold a position as a trusted consultant in your adult child’s life. River makes his own choices, and fights his own battles, but no matter what he goes through, he knows he has a lion in his corner if needed. I am on standby. I am 41 years old, and I am grateful to be able to consult with my mother regularly as my trusted advisor and confidant. And she consults with her mom. And my grandma consulted with her mom, and consults with her still through prayer. 

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

All those who have lost their mothers understand the extraordinary impact, and sacred role they had in their lives. We are who we are because of their decisions over us, their influence on us, and their presence in our lives. We are the benefactors of all the mothers who came before us. We are the sum of their sacrifices, their servitude, their involvement, their investment, their mentorship, and their example in our lives. Thank God for all of the mothers who understood their assignment and raised us well. Their impact echoes through generations. Let us all make a point today to appreciate the immensely important role Mother’s play in our lives and in our society.

Thank you Moms! Happy Mother’s Day!