Author: Brandy Metz, MSN, APRN, AGNP-C

Kindness 

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” ~ George Washington Carver

We are all out here blundering around trying to do our best in life. We are all just making our way through our busy days, and sometimes our worlds collide. You never know what kind of morning another person has had, let alone what kind of life experiences they have had to endure. 

“Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” ~ Brad Metzler

Treat everyone with dignity and compassion. At the very least, do no harm. No matter what situation we are thrust in, the bottom line is that we are all human. When you strip down all of the differences among us, most of us are just good hearted people trying to navigate this confusing situation that is life. We all have our own crazy inner worlds, hopes, dreams, hurts, failures, insecurities, responsibilities, pressures, and struggles, and we’re trying to make sense of it all. When you encounter people in your daily life, just meet everyone human to human, heart to heart. You never know what people are going through, and you never know how your interaction can impact them, good or bad. You choose. 

“Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you in return.” ~ Thea Nishimori

It is an honor to be in the position to simply be kind to one another. Kindness is a gift. Simple kindness. You don’t need to take on anyone’s burdens. Kindness does not require any grand gestures. Just be nice and cause no harm. Life is hard. No one is exempt from pain. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they are trying their best within their circumstances, and treat them with dignity. When you meet people in their silent struggles, or in the midst of a full scale ruckus, be gentle and have mercy. Be the person you would like to meet if the situation was reversed. If you have an opportunity to help, help. If you have the opportunity to be a good person, do that. Being a nice person requires no effort and costs nothing, just choosing good. 

“You can always always give something, even if it is only kindness.” ~  Anne Frank

Everyone appreciates a kind gesture or a kind word. I keep a jar full of kind words that people have said to me over the years. I write them down and their kindness lives on. My favorite compliment that I received came from a patient I was requested to visit one day when I was a hospice aide. He had dementia, and I was warned he was combative to care. I saw he needed his nails trimmed desperately. After we had established a little bit of trust for one another, I tried my luck a little bit, and began trimming his nails. He allowed it, and he looked at me and said “You have a face that lets me know you want to make me feel better.” I smile every time I think about that moment, and I take that compliment to my lil bank. Kindness begets kindness. Rational and logical arguments do not go far with dementia patients. Reasoning is out the window. Dementia also impacts the language center of the brain. Words fail you. They cannot communicate what they would like to say effectively, and they cannot understand what you are trying to say effectively. They operate in a world of feelings and instincts. You must connect on a deeper level. You meet heart to heart. Presence to presence. Words are mostly meaningless noise. Kindness is transcendent. When language and logic are useless, everyone responds to being treated with dignity and kindness. 

“I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” ~ Etienne de Grellet

I treasure all the times I received kindness when I most needed it. I am grateful and better for it. Don’t underestimate your ability to lighten the burden of another with nothing more than your presence. Kindness has the power to transform someone’s mental, emotional, and spiritual state. It’s really the only thing of value that we have to offer one another, and a little goes a long way. Being kind magnifies and multiplies goodness in you and the recipient, and is always subsequently paid forward. Kindness has a butterfly effect. Each person you impact proceeds in their day a little lighter and a little brighter. It ripples forward and expands outward and the whole world is impacted and a little better for it. “Practice kindness all day to everybody and you will realize you’re already in heaven now.”~ Jack Kerouac. Kindness is a powerful force of good. When you have an option of how to be, and you always do, choose to be kind. 

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” ~ Mother Teresa