New Year

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art—write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” ~ Neil Gaiman

I love the NewYear! Its a good time to reflect and take inventory of your life. You only get so many years… how do you make them count? What have you learned? What worked for you this year? What didn’t? What are your accomplishments? What are your failures? And most importantly what are your goals for the coming year? Every one of these passing years is the sum of your life. Be intentional. Every year seems to fly by more quickly than the last. Seize this time. Own it and make the best out of it. Brace yourself for another 365 days of whatever you make of it.

2019 was savage. It came and went like a drive by jumping. It was ruthless. I feel like we all just went through this universal pummeling, and now we’re all rising..bewildered, bloodied, and hardened… ready for anything. This past year was brutal. And beautiful. What an incredible year of monumental epic growth and transformation. Never could my pea brain ever have imagined that I’d have to go through so much insanity in a year. I leveled mountains. I fought real life monsters. I battled personal giants. I stood up for myself and won over and over and over again. I am proud of myself. There were a thousand scenarios that could have brought out the worst in me. But in the end, they brought out the best in me assuredly. I feel good about who I am, where I stand, and where I am going. I feel strangely alive and awakened…confident and hopeful…and ready for whatever the New Year may bring. 

There were some very valuable lessons I learned in the carnage that was 2019. 20 lessons for 2020. Probably things that go without saying, but I am slow and these things really resonated this year. 

1. Play. In a first world country, life is all play for the most part. Have a good sense of humor about things. Life is amazing, and horrible, and beautiful, and ridiculous. Be confident in your ability to surmount the worst, and have fun. “Don’t take life so seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.” 
2. Hurt people hurt people. It is not your job to figure out why or how. They are not for you to fix. Walk away. Wish no one ill will, no matter how fucked up. Keep your goodness intact.  People need healing and truth. Wish them healing and truth.. And life will serve it in it’s own way.  
3. As Maya Angelou states “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” See people for who they are. Not the idea of the person you think they have the potential to be. Listen to people. No second chances. Be ruthless in this. Do not ignore truths. You will meet them again.. And only cause yourself repeated avoidable miserable experiences. 
4. If it seems too good to be true, it is… Take the blue pill… 
5. Sometimes you are meant to go through huge and heavy things that have nothing to do with you no matter how active a role you play in the happenings. Sometimes you are just a tool in someone else’s story. That is ok. Do not extend your role. 
6. The people in your life can be mirrors of some aspect of yourself. Be mindful of what you see, good or bad, and adjust yourself accordingly. Check yourself.
7. Change is the only constant. ‘Don’t worry, If you’re happy it will change, if you’re not, it will change’.. As it goes. Better to keep a flexible grip on things..  
8. Work is work. Love what you do. Take pride in what you do…and sometimes you do the dog and pony show for the paycheck. Accept that and get on with it. 
9. How people treat you is a reflection of them…but you teach people how to treat you by what you accept. Keep unacceptable unacceptable.
10. When you go through difficult times, just find something to focus on to let time catch up and do its work. Just hang in there…
11. Do not presume to know what other people are thinking..about you or anything really. It is not your business. People and situations are multifaceted. Assume nothing. It is not within your locus of control. Just carry on doing your own thing.  
12. Do not expect others to react how you would react given the same set of circumstances. Accept people as they are. Save yourself unnecessary frustration.   
13. The only thing you have to offer anyone is your peace of mind. You protect your peace of mind with boundaries and “no’s”. No apologies. No guilt. 
14. Anger is poison. It cannot coexist with peace. You must work through anger or it will boil over, displaced and disproportionate, onto everything else. 
15. Negative emotions must be worked out physically. Run. Do yoga. Lift. Anything. Or you will remain stuck in them, and they in you.. 
16. You deal with the consequences of the decisions you make for your life. Make peace with making hard decisions. And hope in the end they were right. 
17. Don’t settle. It only begets disappointment. And you can still fail at things you settled for, so you may as well aim high.
18. Always believe in greater things to come. Be hopeful. Hopefulness makes life worthwhile and magical.
19. Do what makes your feel alive. Pursue your interest. Find the others. Flourish your passions and talents. They bring life to your life.
20.  All you have control over is yourself. Try to do what is right, Keep a clear conscience, and Align your actions with your highest values. That is all you can do. Life will unfold as it does. Be right with yourself, and you will overcome anything. Be right with yourself, and good things will come your way. And when they do, you will be ready for them.

Thank you 2019 for revealing all of my deficits to me so that I may fix them. Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for being so savage that I had to change myself and my life. I’m a new woman ready for a new year. I don’t think I’ve ever been more hopeful or optimistic for another year and another opportunity to live life. Its a good time to be alive. Welcome 2020 and all of the promise of future possibilities. 

“For all that has been, Thanks. For all that is to come, Yes.” ~ Hammarskjold.

Author: Brandy Metz, MSN, APRN, AGNP-C