Power
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power. ~ Abraham Lincoln
. Typically those who seek to exert their authority over others have a fragile self image. “The most improper job of any man is bossing other men. Not one in a million is fit for it, and least of all those who seek the opportunity.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien. It’s the classic napoleon/little man complex. Little men are petty with power and intoxicated with lording it over other people. They are the ego run amuck. They derive temporary satisfaction beating people down to make themselves look and feel superior. The real superior man does not gain satisfaction at the expense of others. Real power speaks for itself. You do not need to flaunt it. You do not need to club people over the head with it. It speaks for itself. It stands on its own.
If you have real power, you do not engage in ego driven power struggles. You do not need to retaliate at every offense. Do not take the bait. “Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” ~ Mark Twain. Stay above it. Do not engage in losing battles. You do not need to. Let the little men have their little victories. Ego trips are short-lived, self-destructive tactics that will eventually implode on themselves without intervention. Let the little things slide. Play the long game. Remember, “A lion does not lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.”~ Unknown. If you heckle a lion and you keep your face it’s because the lion allowed it. And everybody knows it. He does not need to retaliate. The lion has nothing to prove. His authority is evident.
Real power is choosing your battles. Real power is only engaging in worthwhile pursuits. If you must take a stand for what is right, “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~ Benjamin Franklin. Having prudence, self control, and forethought is important in resolving disagreements. You must be solution oriented. Your objective is to problem solve. You must stay on topic. Do not get pulled into sideways arguments, as tempting as they can be. They distract from your objective. They minimize your objective. They jeopardize your objective, and give merit to your opponent. Your objective is solving the problem at hand. Stay above puny, petty, distracting arguments. They are beneath you and will only bring you and the entirety of what you stand for down. Real power is focused conflict resolution.
“No fear. No distractions, the ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk
In How to Win Friends and Influence People, a book I think the whole world should read, the first and most important principle is to not condemn others. “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain. And most fools do.”~ Dale Carnegie. This only serves to insult people, create upset, and insight defensiveness. This is the opposite of problem solving. This makes arguing the equivalent of two parties pulling a knot. The knot just gets tighter. Everyone loses. Never corner an opponent. Do not rub people’s noses in their wrong doings. It will only elicit contempt and further defensiveness. Belittle no one. It is far more effective to help an opponent to save face in an argument and promote positive correction. This is truly having command over the direction of conflict. I have learned it is wise to always be gentle with the upper hand when you have it. Tables turn quickly in life. Never be haughty. Be gentle with correction. Stay humble and reasonable for the sake of truth. This demonstrates real power and grace.
The greatest leaders in history, who had the largest impact on society, did not lead with an iron fist. Leaders such as Jesus, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Theresa did not club people over the head with their position. They did not need to dominate people into submission. They did not solve conflicts by brooding and screaming. The most powerful people in the history of the world lead by example with love, compassion, and integrity. They were noble and good. Their plights upheld by truth, right, and unwavering conviction. They demonstrated poise under pressure and injustice. They emanated authority down to their souls. They could not be shaken. They demonstrated that true power is dignity, purpose, and strength. True power is grace and humility. True power is gentleness and kindness. True power is altruistic. True power liberates and unifies. True power is self-evident. And most importantly, true power wins.
Leave a Reply